9.16.2011

my own self-worth.....

I would guess that 89% of you have never met me in person..........you don't know if my life is the way it is.........or if I love walking in the prairie for real.......or bake my own bread.........or sew my own skirts..........

yes, I do all of those things

but now, after being a "blogger" for awhile, sometimes it is coming back into my face with not smiles but disbelief

even those women that truly know me have said things like "you can say all you want Anne Marie....life isn't like that"

 no apologizes from me...life IS like that....for me.....and it most certainly can be for YOU

I'm not about to say  'sorry, but...'

I'm not about to tell you  'oh...I didn't mean to make you feel _________'

never apologize for the way you are living to anyone......if you are going through some hard times, that is for you to get through....for you to become closer to your creator...not away...
                                
                          step            
            single
every

every
            single
                              step

up and down we choose.....what is more important to you vs. what can take the back seat

this could be all you have ever known: the ups and downs, but it still is your choice......and you may just like climbing up or descending down........and that's okay.........no apologizes

no matter what you might be experiencing, there is a way to get pass that wall.....you put the wall there...the one you just can't seem to not only see through, but get through, get around

God doesn't make you put that wall up.....you built it with all your negativity....excess energy...wasted energy

every day

every
           single
                         day
I go down into my soul to lift it back up again.......offering all that I am in communion with Him to enjoy the day, to enjoy my life, to grow in union with my husband and our family

I choose the misery presented to me............I choose the way a song makes me feel........I choose the color of denim skirt I lift up to my hips that bore all six of my children.........I choose

like my dad says "it's all in your head".....

it's my life....no apologizes indeed....
= how my boys cooked breakfast for us or how the sunrises out here lately with the cool morning makes the most unbelievable sunrises in the prairie
= how the chickens we have aren't laying eggs and would rather eat the tomatoes instead of the crickets and worms
= how I absolutely love embracing my domesticity - plain and simple - through my faith...through the Church

One thing is constant with me, and that is my constant enhancement for those around me...I like to consider me dying to self in order to give it to others......

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.


Not too long ago, the woman who chose to be home with her children could cook, bake, sew, tend the garden, can, teach her children, entertain, and still have time to pray

there is still that same amount of ticks and tocks on the clock

women....men....it is time you made yourself worthy of your time here......

pray/meditate/garden/live/hug someone/smile/give back/work

work your hands to the bone in prayer and that wall will fall and crumple to dust   

create yourself worthy

peace + blessings,

39 comments:

  1. I agree with most of what you say but some people do not choose their misery, it is thrust upon them. There are many unspeakable sufferings that people would never choose and although it's true that we can decide how we react to these tragedies, it's almost impossible to recover from some of them.

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  2. This post has been such a blessing to me...so many wonderful points and things to ponder, thank you! xo

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  3. You will never know how very much I needed to hear this today. We will probably never meet in this world, but know that you touched my heart in a way that it needed to be touched. Self-pity is one of the ugliest things I know and I had let myself slip into the mire without realizing it but your post made me see myself as I really am and for that I am thankful. Have a blessed weekend with your loved ones. Thank you.

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  4. I have to agree with Suzanne. While I believe we do make choices in our lives, things happen which are out of our control. To say, "I choose the misery presented to me," makes it seem like you have fortunately not known much misery.

    I know a family whose child is dying from cancer. They did not choose their misery. They have a strong faith in God and have been unbelievably positive and hopeful throughout this difficult journey (of more than two years). Yes, they choose how they react to their child's illness, but no one would choose this in their life. No one would choose the death of a child.

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  5. hi anne marie...i agree with your dad....i think most everything is in your head...i lost my dear sweet 3 year old years ago, needless to say, not of my own choosing, but, BUT, i could have become bitter and allowed that awful event to eat away what was left of my life...with God's help however, i did not. i believe there are many many things we cannot help and do not choose, but we and only we control how we react to those things and we can do so negatively or positively...all in our heads. how you choose to live, raise your kids, relate to God, teach, eat, sleep and drink and SHARE what you do or don't do is all up to you...all i know is i enjoy reading about it...what i don't understand is why anyone would look at someone elses life and then question if it was real...if i did that, i certainly wouldn't read about it...it seems to me that would make me the silly one!

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  6. losing loved ones through this life has been difficult on me and my family...all of us understand misery

    my aunt has been battling with cancer for nearly two years now...she is the one who has taught me this lesson of choosing misery

    to her I thank for this eye opening choice...to her I dedicated this post

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  7. What a wonderful devotional statement you have presented to me today.
    Quite simply, thank you.
    Susan

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  8. Great post, A.M.
    Life is . . . . .
    since we have no control of many aspects of our live
    the best we can do is think and life as POSITIVE as we can
    when life butts us face on
    do the very best you can taking
    one
    step
    at
    a
    time

    I do the best I can

    and I am happy with my life.

    Life goes on

    hugs
    Gerry

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  9. great post, i feel if one is going through misery, if they sees a smile or receives a kind jester from others it can help them lighten their misery. I have a daughter who just turned 18 but at the age of 4 mos had wilms tumor and lost her right kidney and did chemo for 6 mos...the whole time i never asked why..i just woke up every day doing the best i could do...and I prayed every night when i went to bed that i would enjoy her smile one more day...I'm going with your dad its all in your head!!

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  10. Hi Anne Marie,
    Remember me?
    I am so glad I came back today to read your wonderful post.
    I thank you for e-mailing me when I was going through some really tough times.
    I have in the mean time learned to be content with whatever state I am. And that I was pulled closer to my/our Creator.
    I wanted to thank you for your prayers too.
    I will not be blogging for a while as of today because I am happy to say that we will be moving out of our RV and moving into a house to and looking forward to make it a home.
    I can say that this trial made me a stronger Mom of 6! More ready for other trials that He has still in store for me.
    Hugs and Blessings,
    Sandy

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  11. Your thoughts are beautiful and uplifting and I NEEDED to hear them. Thank you!
    Blessings & hugs,
    Karen

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  12. Beautifully said. God never allows more than we can handle and any of our sufferings, from a nasty cold to the loss of a dear one, can be turned into a gift to God.

    Christ suffered more than we could ever imagine. Life is too short to dwell on the negative and as long as we grow to know, love and serve Him in each state of life, life will always turn again to joy and peace.

    I hope someday to create a Godly and beauty centered haven for a family as you have Anne. Families always have their troubles here and there, but parents have the wonderful ability to bring situations and life back into perspective and create the perfect environment of protection and growth for children.

    Hugs and kisses to the kiddos!

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  13. I was so blessed to have been born several years before you Anne Marie when many, many women chose homecaring over every thing else the world had to offer to pull us from our homes. While I did take a part time job once in awhile to help with medical bills after Landon was born, I was blessed to be able to be home sewing, canning, baking, listening to a friend at my kitchen table who just needed to talk,feeding calves, driving the tractor and baler in the field when Dale needed extra help while the oldest watched the youngest.
    Blessings indeed.
    Never should a woman feel she must apologize for the choice she makes in her life. I never judge the choice another woman makes for herself, and I love it when they honor my own choices.
    I enjoyed this post so much!

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  14. Mercy.

    I've been a follower of your blog for months now.

    Love,love,love it here.

    And I must comment today.
    This post takes it all to a different place for me.
    I can relate to this in oh so many ways as if I felt like you were writing these words just for me.
    so,so,so true and near and dear to my heart.

    Goodness to betsy I really appreicate you pouring your heart out here.

    ~amanda

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  15. As much as I enjoy surfing blogs online about beautiful things that are created or shared by some very talented women, I am drawn to yours because along with a dose of beauty and talent imbued in your blog, you are not afraid to remind everyone of what is essential... of what surpasses the beautiful in this life and take us to the One who created beauty and has unimagined beauty awaiting us in the next life.

    Everything that God wills or permits is for our good, to bring us to communion with Him. If we see everything with these eyes, we are able to thank Him even for those things which we humanly speaking would want to run from... suffering.... and yet in that suffering what graces await... for us and for others if accepted and offered with love.

    I admire you for being true to yourself and not being afraid to share your faith with others besides everything else I admire you for.

    Omnia Vincit Amor

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  16. Anne Marie,
    Just want you to to know I find your life inspiring and a refreshing change from what I see to much of on a daily basis. My husband and I try to live a very self sufficient life and teach my children to be the same way. Growing our own food, putting it up for the winter, getting back to the basics and living off the earth more help to put us back in touch with life. No, every day is not perfect, but when you are closer to God and closer to the basics, those tough times aren't as hard to handle. I think society has strayed too far from the most important things in our lives. Your family pulls together and works together as a family should. How can you not want a life like that? I am glad you don't apologize for the life you have, why would you? Thanks for all the inspiration you give to us.
    Have a beautiful weekend.
    Debbie

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  17. This is a very beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am taking them to heart.

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  18. Beautifully written, Anne Marie.

    You inspire me every day to make courageous choices...choices that sometimes my friends or family will not like...or understand. But what I have learned from you is that it doesn't matter what others think or believe to be true...just what my husband and I believe to be right based on Truth.

    Life is hard. We may not choose every circumstance we find ourselves in, but we certainly choose our response.

    I smile every.single.day. when I look at my honey jar on our breakfast table. It is has become our "inspiration piece" while contemplating many life decisions.

    Blessings, Friend!

    Val

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  19. Some of what happens in life is out of our control, like sudden death of a loved one, abducted child, employment "down sizing", disease, (such as Sara, "Gitz") to name just a few scenarios.

    Not in our choosing . . . It takes courage, patience, faith, counsel and a sense of putting "Humpty Dumpty back together again" to
    get through
    find our way
    live again
    find our smile

    Thank you for reflection . . .

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  20. What a Light you are, Anne Marie! You are one of those beautiful souls who shine before the men/women of this earth... surely our amazing Creator delights in your joy and determination to make life worthy of the gift. Love how you have found such peace in Him, strength in Him, beauty in & out - in Him. High tens to your boys for making you guys breakfast! :) I love that mental picture. ;) And, can I just say too, love - LOVE - LOVE that pic of you above with your littlest. HUGS!

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  21. Real recognizes Real. Thank you for the gift you give, always. Word UP!

    Much Love,

    The Boys

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  22. I love the scripture you used in this post, Anne Marie. It is a good reminder to those who know God. I understand what you are saying and what God has given us in life to bear or enjoy ought to be done to His glory. You keep enjoying your gift from God.

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  23. Hi Anne Marie! I really needed to hear this today. Thanks you for sharing these beautiful thoughts, I couldn't agree with it all more!

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  24. Never apologize for who you are! Life is full of ups and downs each of us handles it different. We can all learn from each other. I like you. I like the way you live. I like to see what you are doing next. I am pretty sure we will never meet in person. I kinda think you and your family are pretty cool. LIVE YOUR LIFE to the fullest. Have a wonderful weekend and don't worry too much about what people think

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  25. A very touching message. My Dad would always tell me "it will be okay". There is always a lesson to be learned thru struggle, hardships, misery but also in happy memories and fun times. I have taught my two children to learn something everyday and through our live experiences.

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  26. Oh, I am cheering over here! You said it so well, my friend.

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  27. Anne-Marie - I think you posted a very introspective and touching read today. I do believe that the gals that mentioned that they didn't "choose" misery (no one in their right mind would) may not understand that what you were really saying. That by "choosing" our misery presented to us by God, we are gladly taking on the yoke of hardship that he is giving us - for whatever reason - and becoming stronger for it. Stronger women and stronger in Him. When we "choose" God as our Savior, we claim ALL of him and everything that he has to give us - good or bad. It's all for his glory. He'll never present us with anything that he won't be there to help us through.

    Bless you, my sweet friend, for being so honest, for being such a great testimony of His love, and for continuing to teach me to live a simple life in Him. Luv ya. ♥

    xoxo laurie

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  28. Paula from Cracker JaxSunday, September 18, 2011

    I love you, Anne Marie. You are such a blessing. Thank you. See you soon. Peace. xo

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  29. Hi Anne Marie,

    My sister emailed me and told me to read your latest post.
    Beautiful!
    Thank you!
    Take Care,
    Maria

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  30. I have to agree with what you said, while we do not chose everything that happens to us, we chose how to perceive that tragedy. While sometimes it may take me a few months to get there I have been able to get through many losses, seemingly unfair issues, hurdles that I was not sure I could jump. Life is going to happen the good and the bad and if you chose to stay focused on the bad then well that is the theme of how your life will go. If you chose to focus on the good well then.........that is the theme on how your life will go. You have always seemed very genuine to me and yes life can be like that.
    Have a great day, you are very inspiring.
    SHerry

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  31. love. 1cor13...without love i am nothing.

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  32. That is just beautiful. Thanks for opening your heart out to us. I love "create yourself worthy". You are so talented.

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  33. I wish I could attend your event. Illinois just seems so far away from Louisiana.

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  34. Thank you for reminding me of this. "Be Still. . ." Ann in Indy

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  35. Hello Anne Marie, Thank for this post. Yes! I am one of the 89% of your reader.I found your blog a few weeks a go and I love it.I didn't know you but I admired you as Great Mother of the family.I never see your farm but I enjoy your farm trough your pictures.I never talk to you personally but your written make me always happy.
    I always thinking that
    The great woman in this world is The woman like you,preserve the tradition,follow the nature of the woman,nursing the children,educate the children,sew,bake,cook,farming,gardening do domestic task ...such Great woman you are. Now days Hard to find..actually!!!
    Brava Anne Marie!

    luv ya n
    blessing
    Ayu

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  36. You are a soldier of Christ. Thank you for being such a great example.

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  37. I am glad you are happy and find purpose in what you do. It is important work. I find happiness in my teaching. It is important work too. Of course, my most important job is a Momma and teaching allows me to fund that work. I think it is always important to work to lift people up, move them along, encourge them. Because sometimes- it ALL hits the fan- and people are spattered with yucky situations- and they have to move forward. And sometimes, it takes awhile to pull yourself up. We have to be careful to not judge and believe that people are doing the best they can in their situation- which we can not fully comprehend.

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  38. I do believe you just expanded on Philippians 4:7. Beautifully stated. xoxo

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