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| preserving the last of the herbs....photo taken by daughter |
i have a lot
there is so much
both spiritually and materially that i am changing..........doing..........being
my days have been consumed with this life/vocation/existence
but still i change
my mind starts to wander and think.........of me...........
never........ever..........is this a good idea
it's like i put this self made cross (which is quite heavy) upon myself and absolutely refuse to have help in carrying it
that's not a cross from Him, but of my own design.......
my father has been in the hospital now for 21 days........his cross is real........and he is letting others help him carry it.......he doesn't have the strength to carry it himself.........
this all has happened not only for my father, but for all involved in his life.......
isn't it always the case......where you are more than willing to help others carry their cross, but when you start to feel the weight, you bear it yourself, because you think you can do it
i don't know about others, but, i can't do it alone
so so much i am working on.........trying to listen and be obedient.........giving in to the circumstances of life
so much on my mind that i can't even journal it all.........my journal has been neglected bedside for weeks
the trivial things of worry and concern are nothing compared to what my mother has been going through seeing her husband....my dad......go through such a trying time........
this all has happened not only for my father, but for all involved in his life.........
those socks still need mending, the meals done, the last of the herbs harvested, math lessons completed, prayers of thanks to be earnestly said
the worry and the mind wander and the thoughts can 'hang out' for awhile in my mind, but ultimately it is not necessary or needed.......
the best way to put my thoughts coherently is by none other than C.S. Lewis....“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
(I will be discussing this all through this week.........)
peace + blessings,
You could line my crosses I make for myself in a frighteningly long row.
ReplyDeletePraying for peace, and understanding,and grace, mercies, new every morning and for your dad.
A hug from a stranger across the miles~
Bonnie
Sending prayers from across the miles...Stay strong.
ReplyDeletethank you both...prayers are needed
ReplyDeleteI felt it, I already told you that seeing your recent Pins...I know it may sound strange but if you remember I already wrote you I could feel some changing in you.
ReplyDeleteStay strong my dear friend but let someone (like your wonderful husband) that loves you help you carry that burden, it will immediately feel less heavy.
This is told by someone who always feel so responsible for others, for those who sourrounds me... "I can do it all, I can manage this and that, I can!", are best sellers inmy mind but no...we can't handle it all.
It is easy to write and suggest others but more more difficult to do. I know.
I do not know if it can be of any help but you are in my thoughts, all the time and now that I know, your daddy and mum will be too.
Fra
Anne Marie,
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you and your family. I am going through a very rough time with my father being ill as well. His will to live is extraordinary and that's what lets me go on everyday.
I really look forward to your thoughts week...you are an exceptional source of strength to me.
Please take care of yourself. My father told me when I stayed with him this summer that the best thing I could for him was to enjoy my days and take care of my family. He wanted to see me be happy, not torn apart by sadness. I'm sure your father would feel the same. XOXO
Sarah
I will be praying for all of you. Take some time for you...be able to take in those sacred moments and treasure them. I look forward to you sharing when you have time. Blessings
ReplyDeleteKeeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Just taking each day at a time.
ReplyDeleteI Will pray for your father you andyour family Darling....love from me....xxx...
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to learn of your father's hospitalization, Anne Marie! I will be adding him to my bedtime prayers...and you and your sweet family as well.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Val
Sending prayers for your dad..
ReplyDeleteAnne Marie, I have walked in your shoes and my heart is heavy for you. My prayers this night will be for you and your dad and your family.
ReplyDeleteThere are difficult seasons we go through or have to bear in our life~~~I pray GOD gives you STRENGTH, ENCOURAGEMENT, HEALING for you and your family. PEACE that passes all Understanding. Give it all to GOD~~~My prayers are with you~~~Roxie
ReplyDeleteSending good vibes from the cheerful sun in here. Bless your strong and enduring heart. Got my eye on your next posts.
ReplyDeleteyour words are always so touching and thought provoking. thank you, dear friend, for that. still praying for your dad.
ReplyDeleteDear Anne Marie,
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I did not know your Dad was ill....I am so sorry to read about this. I will pray for him, you and your Mom and family. It's so very hard to see one you love so much not well. Its all in our Heavenly Fathers hands and that we trust his will.
I struggle with this (since my sister's passing) but I know in my heart Heavenly Father knows what he is doing and his plan for us and our loved ones.
Sending love and hugs, Elizabeth
I join others in prayers....for you as you love your family and your dear Father and Mother.
ReplyDeleteGoing through a *very* difficult time with my dear Daddy also, this past year and a half is one in which I constantly see God's gracious gifts of simple blessings.
{{hugs}} to you
Deuteronomy 33:27a~ "The Eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the Everlasting arms."
Praying for your dad, you and your family.
ReplyDeleteOh Anne Marie, I am praying for your Dad. My Dad was just diagnosed with a severe illness...and I am BLESSED that I will be able to help him. I think God blessed me with your friendship for so many reasons:). I am emailing you:).
ReplyDelete~Julia
Was singing this song earlier today and thought of you- perhaps it will bless you as well (please excuse any advertisements, and the kind of cheesy video- I wanted the version with the lyrics, and the pickins' were slim) ~Matt Redmon 10,000 Reasons~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcgemftnBo4
ReplyDeleteGrab a tissue before hand. For all the times I've heard, I still weep with love.
Sorry, you'll have to cut and paste, I'm no good at links!
Deleteso sorry to hear of your heavy load. from the comments here, it must make you feel good to know "friends" across the miles are lifting you in our thoughts and prayers. let that knowledge be a comfort as you go through your days.
ReplyDeleteSending prayers for you and your father...don't carry it all on yourself, friend. The C.S. Lewis is perfect, so true. I also like to live by a quote from George Elliot, " It is never to late to be what you might have been "
ReplyDeletexo